In general, I despise email forwards. If you forward me a mass of information which tells me I will have a lucky day, win one million dollars, or cure cancer if I only forward this to 10 more people, I will block you from my email (no special treatment if you family members).
For as much as I hate forwards - they exist. Emails exist, popular culture exists, and both exist together. If beer exists, so do beer jokes, beer commentary, beer quotes, and beer forwards.
So, for this "welcome to your weekend" post, I present you with a forward about beer - a series of beer quotes sent to me by my parents, who are not blocked from my email inbox...sorry mom and dad!
Fw: Beer Theories
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I
drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the
workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't
drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be
shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
> Babe Ruth
sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
> Lyndon B.
"When I read about
the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
> Paul Horning
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we
get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin When
we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to
> George Bernard Shaw
"Beer is proof that God loves us and
wants us to be happy."
> Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest
invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as
well with pizza."
> Dave Barry
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin
explained the" Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm:
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This
natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
killing of the weakest members!
In much the same way, the human brain
can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake
of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks
the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular
consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain
a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter
after a few beers.